Day 161, week 34: karma

Today I was doodling over UpTights’ picture using MS Paint.  I’d added a witch’s hat and a broomstick along with a few warts and was about to send it off to Claire when an email from the stretched one pinged into my inbox and I read it quickly.  From the title of this post, you might now be guessing what happened next, but for my part, in that split second, I was innocent as to the consequences of my actions…

Yes, I pressed “send”, thinking my email was going to Claire when somehow UpTights’ email address had inveigled its way into the address bar, presumably through the post I’d just received.

Now, after what I did to TopFirst last week, you would be right to point out that this was simply a good dose of karma winging its way back and hitting me full on.  Be that as it may, the question which arose was what to do next?  Having sent her email, UpTights had popped out and her computer terminal was therefore vacant.  Did I rush in and try and delete the offending email before her return or did I instead ’fess up as soon as she returned and make the best of it?  Or there was the “more tea, vicar” option of simply pretending it didn’t happen and hoping for the best.

Needless to say I took the first option and sat down quickly at her computer and started trying to find her email.  Didn’t take long and within a few seconds it was deleted…

At which point UpTights re-entered the room and exploded .  Well, not literally, you understand, though with all that stretching you figure there’s always a risk.

“What are you doing at my computer?”

Similar options faced me once again but this time with the stakes having been raised somewhat.  I was well aware that the email would continue to be visible in the “deleted items” folder. 

“Er…well…er…”

Oh, I forgot to mention the prevarication option.

“Er…well…you see…”

“What do I see BabyB?  What?”

“Well…the thing is…I…er…”

To lie at this stage would risk the whole caboodle but at least give me a small chance of getting off.  To tell the truth carried the same risk but with no upside as far as I could see.  What was it OldRuin had once said, “Instincts, BabyB.  Follow your instincts.”  My instincts at that moment were simply to sprint out of the room as fast as I could and never return.  Instead I blurted an enormous kind of a sentence in one breath,

“I drew an unkind picture of you and sent it to your email by mistake and I was trying to delete it before you came back and I’m really really sorry…so sorry, maybe I should resign my pupillage…so very sorry…”

I was actually starting to feel slightly ashamed and I think this probably showed.

“Well let’s see it then BabyB.  Let’s see it.  Come on.  Let’s see it.”

I turned to the computer and went to the “deleted items” folder and eventually brought up the email and with it my masterpiece. 

UpTights stared at it.  Then stared at me.  Then back at the picture.  Then back at me.  She then leant back as if she was winding up her body to deliver an almighty thump to my head.

And then she started laughing.  Not a chuckle.  Not a giggle.  Far from it.  An almighty roar that made me think only of the tragically demented Mrs Rochester.  And she continued to roar.  Then as quickly as the storm had erupted, it ceased.

“BabyB, you’ve made my week with that one.”

After which she pointed me back to my desk and silently got on with her work.

Nowt, as they say, so queer as folk.

May 21, 2007 · Tim Kevan · 3 Comments
Posted in: Uncategorized

3 Responses

  1. Jim Dent - May 22, 2007

    I think I know UpTights. Are her initials TH?

  2. LD - May 22, 2007

    That made me laugh!
    Proud to say your readership has travelled to the Baltics now. Not bad.

  3. John Airey - June 3, 2007

    BabyB (and others who find themselves in a similar predicament) – hold down shift before pressing delete. This deletes an email permanently and never goes into the deleted items folder (assuming you are using Outlook)