Day 148, week 31: whatever
Itâs obviously a week for nasty opponents. Monday it was Weasel. Today, it was TheBully. Right from the off, he was getting stuck in without any call for it. It was a small claims court hearing and not even my client seemed to care about the result. His first assault was unsubtle but at least it cannot be said to have been unclear.
âOf course, your case is hopeless isnât it? Canât understand what your solicitor is up to fighting this one.â
I hadnât thought it was hopeless until that point. Now I started to wonder. I decided on a Busker response although it didnât quite come out right.
âErâŚâ I paused, trying to thing of what TheBusker might say. It didnât come and all that escaped from my lips was a very unbecoming ââŚwhatever.â
Which was more Catherine Tate than TheBusker but all I can do is keep on trying. However, the approach had the unintended merit of getting up TheBullyâs nose.
âWell, if thatâs all you can say youâre obviously no better than your instructing solicitor. Havenât you even read our witness statement?â
Well, when a strategy appears to be working, why change course?
âWhatever.â I was starting to enjoy this.
âCan you even explain why you didnât accept our offer? Seems ridiculous that weâre here. I have far more important matters to be getting on with.â
Oh, I was waiting for that one. The self-important excuse for being seen in the small claims court. Yeh, right. Anyway, I took a deep breath before this one. I was starting to get into my stride.
âErâŚâ I paused for dramatic effectâŚââŚwhatever.â
âYou obviously havenât been doing this long. Are you sure youâre best representing your clientâs interests?â
One more time, just for fun.
âWhatâŚâ Again I paused⌠ââŚever.â
As it happens, he lost. My parting words?
You guessed it.
May 2, 2007
¡ 
Tim Kevan ¡ 
8 Comments
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8 Responses
Nice one BabyB.
I have closing submissions in the family court this morning in a property matter. Do you mind if I cut and paste your submissions into my own.
“Your honour, the evidence in this case clearly shows that my client should win, and to reply to my learned friend’s submissions I can only say, with the greatest of respect … Whatever”
How do you think I will go?
Absolutely hilarious BabyB! I’ve been enjoying your blog every morning for some time, but have had to return to this entry a number of times today … has helped make a bad day good đ
Excellent, excellent, excellent !
Absolutely love it. Wish it was in a published book so I could take it with me on my holiday this year, just to read it all again !!
Love the line “more Catherine Tate than TheBusker”
My opponent is bullying me by letter. Lots of letters, with such stuff as “We note that you have not had the courtesy to…”, “We reserve the right to draw this matter to the court’s attention”, “Please respond by return”. As you say- Whatever.
@Abigail – you raise an interesting issue. The proper place for that type of solicitor’s correspondence is the wastepaper basket. Unfortunately this type of one sided paper trail with all the innuendo has a habit of heamorraging into the proceedings. Its very dangerous stuff. The practice of routinely bunging all the correspondence into the bundle is an insidious one, and an abuse of process but it goes on all the time. Unfortunately its the first stuff the judge reads.
Root:
I find that a simple letter from the solicitor saying
“Thank you for your letter of []. We note that it is the 8th letter we have received informing us that our client has not got a leg to stand on, wondering about our professional competence, suggesting that we accept an offer that amounts to conceding the litigation and threatening to pursue us personally for costs. However, we must inform you that it is this firm’s practice to litigate matters in court and discuss settlement only when an offer is put to us, or we are instructed to make an offer. In the circumstances, your correspondence is not assisting us to deal with any of the issues in the case and is, arguably, a breach of CPR 1.1 (2) (b) and 1.3. Yours sincerely”
sometimes helps.
Sorry, should have said a link would be appreciated…