Big wigs, law suits and custard

“My client today was quite a bigwig in the music industry by all accounts,” said BusyBody at chambers tea.

“I love the idea of bigwigs,” said TheBusker. “I’ve always imagined these very important people walking around with huge over-sized barrister wigs on their heads which reach down as far as their ankles. Just kind of shuffling along and doing important things.”

“When I hear on the TV that someone’s fighting a lawsuit, it always makes me think of them going a few rounds in a boxing ring with a ghostly type of empty suit. Just punching into thin air,” said BusyBody.

“Which doesn’t sound too far from the truth,” said TheCreep.

“As a personal injury lawyer, when someone mentions that something will cost an arm and a leg, I can’t help working out exactly how much that it is,” said Teflon.

“I’ve always thought the idea of legal practice to be particularly apposite, said OldSmoothie before adding, though I’ve never quite worked out when the practice is supposed to end and the real work meant to start.”

“It’s the word custody which does it for me,” said TheVamp. “Whenever I hear someone getting so many years I can’t help visualising them being sentenced to spending it standing up in a big bowl of custard.”

“Your Honour, I would ask that the court be lenient,” mimicked TheBusker, “and grant that the ice-cold custard be warmed a little and that perhaps it reach only as far as the knees.”

“And of course, the sole item on the menu in the land of custardy would be large servings of humble pie,” said OldRuin.

‘Naturally,’ said TheBusker.

BabyBarista is a fictional account of a junior barrister practising at the English Bar, written by barrister and writer Tim Kevan. For more information and to read posts from the last few years visit babybarista.com. Cartoons by Alex Williams, author of 101 Ways to Leave the Law.

July 29, 2014 ¡ Tim Kevan ¡ No Comments
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Monday morning with Alex Williams’ cartoons

qccartoon
This cartoon is by Alex Williams who draws the Queen’s Counsel cartoons for The Times and in numerous books including The Queen’s Counsel Lawyer’s Omnibus. He offers almost all of his cartoons for sale at ÂŁ120 for originals and ÂŁ40 for copies and they can be obtained from this email info@qccartoon.com.

July 28, 2014 ¡ Tim Kevan ¡ Comments Closed
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Weekend video: Bill and Melinda Gates: Why giving away our wealth has been the most satisfying thing we’ve done…

July 26, 2014 ¡ Tim Kevan ¡ Comments Closed
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Book recommendation: Politics of the Judiciary by J. A. G. Griffith

This classic account of how the judiciary cannot act neutrally, but must act politically, now in its fifth edition. John Griffith’s controversial book has been fully revised and updated to consider the latest developments in relations between politicians and the judiciary: Michael Howard’s conflict with the judges, miscarriages of justice, the Criminal Justice Act, the increased use of Judicial Review, the effects of anti-trade union legislation of the 1980s, and so on.

Available from Amazon.

July 23, 2014 ¡ Tim Kevan ¡ Comments Closed
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Pupil pretensions

“You gotta love it,” said TheBusker. “Pupils and their little airs and graces. It’s almost as if the less important the barrister the more pompous they can be.”

“That’s certainly the case for OldSmoothie,” said BusyBody.

“So what have they been up to today?” asked TheVamp.

“I overheard one chastising another for not tying the pink ribbon around his brief in the correct way,” said TheBusker.

“I didn’t even know there was a correct way,” said TheCreep looking a little concerned that he might have missed such an important detail.

“Ah, you under-estimate the creativity which exists in the world of pupil paranoia,” said TheVamp.

“Anyway, the pupil was pretty much telling her friend that if she didn’t tie her briefs up properly she’d end up playing for Accrington Stanley,” said The Busker.

“I can think of a few chambers that match that description,” said BusyBody.

“All in a manner which suggested that she was passing on some huge state secret,” said TheBusker.

“I particularly like the start of April when the pupils are finally set free on their unsuspecting clients,” said TheVamp. “Finally they have their own cases tied in its own pink ribbon and you spot them ostentatiously tying up their papers on the tube.”

“And leaving the ribbon hanging out of their pockets when they go down the pub,” said BusyBody.

“As if this somehow screams ‘Look at me, I’m a barrister, don’t you know. A real0life, living, breathing barrister,’” said TheVamp.

“When no-one other than fellow barristers would even realise what it was,” added BusyBody.

“It’s funny. They walk around for that first month deluding themselves that they’re like some kind of legal rock star,” said TheVamp.

“Until they start to realise that the small car cases they’re doing in the likes of Slough and Harlow are never going to be practice for prosecuting war criminals in The Hague,” said OldSmoothie, “but are only ever going to lead to slightly bigger car cases in the same courts.”

“Oh, I think that might be to overstate your own career trajectory, wouldn’t you say?” said UpTights.

BabyBarista is a fictional account of a junior barrister practising at the English Bar, written by barrister and writer Tim Kevan. For more information and to read posts from the last few years visit babybarista.com. Cartoons by Alex Williams, author of 101 Ways to Leave the Law.

July 22, 2014 ¡ Tim Kevan ¡ No Comments
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Monday morning with Alex Williams’ cartoons

qccartoon
This cartoon is by Alex Williams who draws the Queen’s Counsel cartoons for The Times and in numerous books including The Queen’s Counsel Lawyer’s Omnibus. He offers almost all of his cartoons for sale at ÂŁ120 for originals and ÂŁ40 for copies and they can be obtained from this email info@qccartoon.com.

July 21, 2014 ¡ Tim Kevan ¡ Comments Closed
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Weekend video: First Four Minute Mile – HQ (Roger Bannister:1954)

July 19, 2014 ¡ Tim Kevan ¡ Comments Closed
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Book recommendation: Politics of the Judiciary by J. A. G. Griffith

This classic account of how the judiciary cannot act neutrally, but must act politically, now in its fifth edition. John Griffith’s controversial book has been fully revised and updated to consider the latest developments in relations between politicians and the judiciary: Michael Howard’s conflict with the judges, miscarriages of justice, the Criminal Justice Act, the increased use of Judicial Review, the effects of anti-trade union legislation of the 1980s, and so on.

Available from Amazon.

July 16, 2014 ¡ Tim Kevan ¡ Comments Closed
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Sponsorship in court

“With all the cuts being made, I think barristers should be allowed to be sponsored just like any other performer,” said OldSmoothie today.

“What, with you as the face for your local kebab shop?” said UpTights.

“And you as the face of your plastic surgeon. Literally.” He then continued, “I just think it’s a complete waste having these plain black gowns and not being able to put any logos on them.”

“Why stop there?” said TheVamp. “It could be The General Council of the Bar as sponsored by some fizzy drinks company or other.”

“And judges could add the sponsors name to the end of their titles,” said TheBusker. “Lord Bloggs of whatever bank or building society it might be.”

“You can’t possibly have commercial interests diluting the independence of the Bar in that way,” said HeadofChambers.

“And how is it different to the five non-executive directorships you hold on the boards of companies owned by various of your school chums?”

“Er, well, er…”‘ He was struggling for an answer and then a light seemed to come on and he said, “It’s very different, actually. No-one ever knows about the directorships. It’s all about justice being seen to be done even if it’s not always in fact done.”

“Don’t you just love it when witnesses use the word actually,” smiled TheBusker.

“Immediately you figure they’re either lying or at the very least being disingenuous in the extreme.”

“Er, quite,” said TheBusker.

BabyBarista is a fictional account of a junior barrister practising at the English Bar, written by barrister and writer Tim Kevan. For more information and to read posts from the last few years visit babybarista.com. Cartoons by Alex Williams, author of 101 Ways to Leave the Law.

July 15, 2014 ¡ Tim Kevan ¡ No Comments
Tags: , , , ,  Âˇ Posted in: Uncategorized

Monday morning with Alex Williams’ cartoons

qccartoon
This cartoon is by Alex Williams who draws the Queen’s Counsel cartoons for The Times and in numerous books including The Queen’s Counsel Lawyer’s Omnibus. He offers almost all of his cartoons for sale at ÂŁ120 for originals and ÂŁ40 for copies and they can be obtained from this email info@qccartoon.com.

July 14, 2014 ¡ Tim Kevan ¡ Comments Closed
Posted in: Uncategorized